Bouncebackability
- 1 day ago
- 10 min read
Early in my career, my then manager mentioned in passing that I was ‘great at bouncing back’.
Not the most flattering description.
You have to have downs to need to bounce back.
And there were others around me who were on an uninterrupted run of success.
But it stuck in my mind, becasye there was truth behind the statement.
Looking at my career so far, that ability to keep bouncing back has been essential.
I may have needed it early, but everyone, even the initial superstars, eventually encounter events that they have to bounce back from.
There’s an elegant Japanese proverb for this, ‘nana korobi, ya oki,’ which means ‘fall seven times, stand up eight.’
But I prefer the term made famous by the former Crystal Palace Manager Iain Dowie, who described his team's ability to come back from bad situations as ‘bouncebackability’.
My Bouncebackability Chart
(1) Start career
(3) Operations leader, then off to Hong Kong to set up a business in Asia
[4] Shatter ankle snowboarding
(5) Grow a shopping comparison site from 6th to the largest in the UK, and get married
[6] Google Shopping launches, they cut SEO to our business, and teach me all about anxiety (4 years later Google were fined €2.42 billion by the EU)
(7) Join unicorn start-up to run the UK
[8] Unicorn start-up pivots, retrenches back to their home country, and I have to make team and myself redundant
(9) Launch Yumpingo and also have first child (terrible idea to do both at once)
[10] COVID lockdown and no revenue for almost a year
(11) Back in business
[12] Founder has accident and has to leave
(13) Help lead Yumpingo through successful exit
It’s never a smooth progression.
“A winner is that person who gets up one more time than she is knocked down.” - Mia Hamm
What does your bouncebackability chart look like?
Bounce it like Beckham
Let’s take a look at a very public career as an example: David Beckham.
He's now the public face of all advertising, but some people may vaguely remember that he used to be a footballer.
He's experienced great success, but there were also adversities, and he’s a great example of what can be achieved by people who have the resilience, tenacity and grit to bounce back.
So many other footballers were just as gifted as David Beckham but very few of them were able to transform that ability into being a world class player.
“He can’t kick with his left foot, he can’t head, he can’t tackle, and he doesn’t score many goals. Apart from that, he’s alright.” - George Best, Former Manchester United Player (who had more gifts, but less grit)
Beckham’s ability to work harder and use psychological set-backs to push himself further really stands out when you listen to how other players and managers described his mindset.
(1) Man Utd debut - 1992
“I used to train with him when he was around thirteen at Tottenham but he always knew where he wanted to go because he used to come in in his Manchester United training kit.” - Sol Campbell, England Captain
[2] Sent on load to Preston North End - 1994
“I arrived thinking that Manchester United didn't want me anymore. You had to perform because, if not, you're going to get let go. So you're constantly thinking you're not safe.” - David Beckham
(3) Man Utd Premier League debut - 1995. England Debut - 1996
“He was extraordinary. When he first came to us he would train morning and afternoon then show up in the evening to join in with the schoolboys. At the start of each season we used to give all the players a bleep test to get a sense of their aerobic fitness, and Beckham was always off the scale. [ . . . ] True winners are relentless. The very best players compete against themselves to become as good as they can be. They have to be dragged off the training ground.” - Sir Alex Ferguson, Manchester United Manager
[4] Beckham was red-carded in the 1998 World Cup after he kicked the Argentinian player Diego Simeone. England were knocked out of the tournament after extra time and a penalty shoot out, long after Beckham had left the game. The country went collectively mad, the England manager pushed the blame on to him, people sent him and his family death threats, they hung effigies of him, the press pillared him and crowds would curse him whenever he played throughout the following year.
“It was probably the most difficult time in his career, but it also gave him a lot of strength, to be the player and the man he is in football.” - Diego Simeone, Atletico Madrid Manager
(5) Man Utd won the treble: the Premier League, FA Cup, and Champions League - 1999. Married a Spice Girl - 1999. England Captain - 2000
“David Beckham is Britain’s finest striker of a football not because of God-given talent but because he practises with a relentless application that the vast majority of less gifted players wouldn’t contemplate. [ . . . ] He practised with a discipline to achieve an accuracy that other players wouldn't care about." - Sir Alex Ferguson
[6] The relationship with Sir Alex Ferguson breaks down. Ferguson kicks a football boot at his head and feeling that his celebrity lifestyle has removed his focus decides to move him out of the club. - 2003
(7) Joins the biggest club in the world - Real Madrid, as part of the ‘Galacticos’ team of football superstars including Zinedine Zidane, Ronaldo, Roberto Carlos and Luis Figo - 2003
“He loved to train and perform. He would work extremely hard to get the best out of himself.” - Glenn Hoddle, England Manager
[8] Moves to the US to join LA Galaxy in the MLS, a drop in league quality - 2007
(9) Huge marketing success for the MLS.
“His work ethic was fantastic. He had fantastic stamina and a great right foot but he was also a super-professional football player, always trying to do his best for the team.” - Sven-Goran Eriksson, England Manager
[10] In danger of losing England place he decides he needs to play at a higher level.
(11) Loaned to AC Milan - 2009
“What remains in your memory is his genuine commitment and dedication, his natural humility which he always had, that will stay forever. You forget sometimes if he has won this championship or that championship, but you never forget how he behaved, and that is a credit to him. ” - Arsene Wenger, Arsenal Manager
[12] Final appearance for England after 115 games - 2009
“Becks was the true professional, he was probably the best technical player I played with. I used to watch him and watch him. As soon as we’d finished [training], the mannequins would be out and he’d be taking free-kicks, corners and he’d do it for an hour. Every training session he’d give 110 per cent, he would never beat anybody but if you give him a yard, he’ll put in the best balls you’ll ever see. What a player.” - Paul Ince, England Captain
(13) Back to LA Galaxy to see out contract - 2010
(14) Joins Paris St Germain and wins the French league - 2013
“You talk about longevity and in many ways reinventing himself, it has been absolutely incredible. When he went to America there wasn’t a person in this place who really thought he could have a career. Yet he went on and still played for his country, he played for AC Milan in European ties and he played for PSG in European ties, and I don’t think anyone could have imagined that.” - Sir Alex Ferguson
[15] Retires - 2013
“What an unbelievable career he’s had, both on and off the field. I’ve been fortunate to work with some great players and he was one of them. He was a great player. He made the very most of his talents through sheer hard work, professionalism and always doing extra on the training field. He inspired his team-mates through his performances and he was a winner; he has won so many things through his career and that was infectious on his team-mates.” - Steve McClaren, England Manager
(16) Founded Inter Miami, a new MLS club - 2020. Inter Miami signed Lionel Messi and is now the second most valuable team in US football (Forbes estimate that value at is $1.2 billion). And gets knighted - 2025
“I never do anything half-heartedly. I will continue to work hard and play hard and do everything I can to be successful, whatever I do.” - David Beckham
At some stage you will fail: you could be made redundant, your project might collapse, or a product will fail, or the business will implode.
Your confidence will be shaken, making you question your abilities.
If things go really badly you could experience stress, depression or anxiety.
But there is a vast difference between you, or an idea, or a business failing and you being a failure.
Let’s focus on Beckham's most famous bounceback: the time he became England’s most hated football player after getting sent off in the 1998 World Cup.
He remembers, “that was the most difficult time for me in my whole career. Wherever I went, I got abused every single day.”
And he suffered from depression, "I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping. I was a mess. I didn't know what to do.”
Sisu
“If you're going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill
If you are in a terrible situation like Beckham found himself in, you need sisu.
Sisu is a Finnish word that describes the extraordinary determination, strength and bravery needed to overcome extreme adversity.
It’s a core part of the national identity of Finland, and came to the rest of the world’s attention when in the early stages of WW2, the Soviet Union invaded and was fought off by a much smaller army.
During the war Time Magazine described it: “The Finns have something they call sisu. It is a compound of bravado and bravery, of ferocity and tenacity, of the ability to keep fighting after most people would have quit, and to fight with the will to win. The Finns translate sisu as "the Finnish spirit" but it is a much more gutful word than that.”
Sisu is an extraordinary short term effort to pull you through the worst possible situation.
“It’s inhumane what he had to put up with. Inhumane. It would’ve broken everybody, it would have broken 99.9% of footballers.” - Phil Nevile, England player
Resilience
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent” - Calvin Coolidge
For all but the most adverse short-term situations resilience is what you need.
Resilience, derived from the Latin for springing back, or “jumping back up,” is the ability to sustain efforts over time to positively adapt to challenging experiences.
It’s based on having self-confidence in yourself and your abilities, to rebound and adapt to tough circumstances.
“The only thing that I knew to do for me personally was to put my head down and to work harder and not try to prove myself to people, but try to prove to myself I could still play at the highest level, continue at the highest level, be a Manchester United player, because every single game of that season was difficult.” - David Beckham
Grit
“Failure can be a painful experience. But it doesn’t define you. It’s a problem to be faced, dealt with, and learned from.” - Carol Dweck
The next stage of the bounceback is grit.
The psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as being a combination of perseverance and passion.
Perseverance (like resilience) can get you through a bad time, but to start excelling you also need to have a passion for what you are attempting.
Across all sorts of endeavours people with grit outperform.
Gritty soldiers were found to be more likely to complete a grueling selection course, gritty sales representatives were more likely to remain at their jobs, gritty high school juniors were more likely to graduate from high school a year later, and gritty men were more likely to remain married.
"I just want people to see me as a hardworking footballer, someone that's passionate about the game, someone that – every time I stepped on the pitch – I've given everything that I have, because that's how I feel. That's how I look back on it and hope people will see me." - David Beckham
And seeing through that passion with grit is linked to fulfillment and happiness.
Angela Duckworth found that, “the gritter a person is, the more likely they’ll enjoy a healthy emotional life. Even at the top of the Grit Scale, grit went hand in hand with well-being, no matter how I measured it.”
Thriving
”Life rewards people who stay strong enough long enough.” - Jesse Iwuji
Living through trauma forces us to reevaluate our beliefs and strategies and can actually increase creativity.
“We are forced to reconsider things we took for granted, and we’re forced to think about new things,” says Marie Forgeard, psychologist from Harvard Medical School. “Adverse events can be so powerful that they force us to think about questions we never would have thought about otherwise.”
The adversity doesn’t have to be trauma, and it doesn’t even need to be adverse for it to shift perspectives, positive events can also inspire our worldview, character, creativity and behaviour.
Things that reframe the way you see things, like trauma, hobbies, an inspirational book, parenthood and living in a foreign culture will all expose you to new ways of thinking and enable growth.
From the trauma of the 98 World Cup David Beckham developed the skills and fortitude to become a great footballer, but he also developed in other unexpected and creative ways.
He became a leader, captaining England 59 times, built a significant commercial business around his brand (selling 50% of it for £200 million in 2022) and in a very rare step for a footballer is now a major owner of two football clubs; Salford City and Inter Miami.
"The whole World Cup experience is central to the person I am now." - David Beckham
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan
Walsh, F., “A family resilience framework: Innovative practice applications.” Family Relations: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies, (2002)
Eskreis-winkler L., Duckworth A.L., Shulman E.P., Beal S., “The grit effect: predicting retention in the military, the workplace, school and marriage,” Frontiers in Psychology (2014)
Young V., Lin Y., Duckworth A., "Associations between grit and subjective well-being in a large sample of U.S. adults," 16th Annual Convention of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (2015)
Forgeard, M. J. C., "Perceiving Benefits After Adversity: The Relationship Between Self-Reported Posttraumatic Growth and Creativity", Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts (2013)
Kaufman S. B, Gregoire, C., “Wired to Create”, Ebury Publishing (2006)
Roepke, A. M., “Gains without pains? Growth after positive events,” The Journal of Positive Psychology (2013)
